A Post of Memory Writeups

[marezydoats]

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"Do you want to kiss?" "Why?" "Because I love you." (Vol 14 Ch 79)

[marezydoats]

Haru was a strange boy. A kind boy. I felt like I might fall in love with him. Maybe... I have fallen in love with him. No. I can't. A love from someone like me would be twisted. "Rin. Will you kiss me?" Haru is sitting next to you on the small couch in his house, looking contemplative. A book rests on your lap. Neither of you had gotten out of your school uniforms yet. You enjoyed the quiet time together, studying together despite the difference in school years. But the words that he said baffle you in a way that nothing he's said ever has before. "Wh— Why...?" The word slips out of your mouth, genuinely confused. The look that he gives you in response sears you, a warm feeling that you're entirely unfamiliar with filling you to your core. "Because I love you." You're certain your face has to be red, hot flames searing your cheeks. "We— We can't...! A-Akito will get mad..." Hatori. The name slips unbidden into your mind, the stories of how he went to ask their head of family for permission to marry and he— Hatori's eye.... But Haru stares at you pensively now. "But if you ended up with another guy just because of that... I wouldn't be able to bear it." Then his eyes grow uncertain. "Or... would you prefer another man?" Another man? "Of- of course not! I- Haru, I..." I like you. I love you, Haru. I'm no good without you, Haru. When you're gone, Haru, I'm so uneasy, I can't keep myself together. It has to be you, Haru. Leaning on you... Relying on you... Wanting you, Haru. Wanting everything about you. My desire increases and increases. A "love" like that seemed like it would someday crush you, Haru. If Haru started to hate me and was gone... The uncertain look is still in his eyes, and he looks away from you. "Do you think I'm pitying you?" "No... No, I don't." He alone had never pitied you. He knew you would hate that, and it's not who he is. "I love you... So I want you, Rin." He cups your cheek with his hand, moving his face close enough to kiss. And you want to. You've wanted to, so badly, for so long. "Do you not want me, Rin? Do you not want to be with me?" You feel the tears forming in your eyes, and you press your cheek into his hand. And the next thing you know, the two of you are kissing. It's your first kiss, probably the first for either of you... And though you've never let yourself think of kissing him before, never dared to, you think that anything you might have imagined would pale to reality. Reason has no effect. I love him too much. Even though I think it's wrong... I don't want to let it go.