The other members of the Zodiac seemed to have so much pain... ...But I'm different. Papa and Mama are different. We always have fun. We're always smiling and happy. It was just like we were inside a play.
You sit at the dinner table, kicking your legs freely. There was a question burning inside you. You'd thought of it after that woman spoke to you about how happy your family was, the lady with the long hair that you didn't recognize but knew to be family.
"Why? Why do Papa and Mama always seem to be having so much fun? Are you really having fun? Isn't there anything that makes you sad?"
Papa and Mama continued to smile at you for a moment, but then the smiles slipped from their faces.
With just that one question...
Slowly, rage morphed Mama's face into something you don't recognize. She knocks the food off the table and bowls come crashing to the ground.
"WHO DO YOU THINK WE'RE DOING THIS FOR!?!" Mama grabs the end of the table and flips it over. "WHO DO YOU THINK WE TRY SO HARD FOR EVERY SINGLE DAY?! GIVE ME A BREAK!!"
You stare at the shattered bowls, lost and confused.
...the play came to an end.
Later that evening, you stand in the darkened hallway in front of their door. You're clutching a rag doll, a pretty one of a girl with a smiling face. It's your favourite doll.
"Mama...." your voice comes out plaintively. "Mama, papa.... I'm sorry...."
The door opens.
Even though they hated me...
The light streams out and you look up with hope in your heart.
Even though I was a burden... they pushed themselves.
Mama isn't looking at you, but Papa reaches out.
They were always pushing themselves. They pushed themselves.... they broke. And could never go back.
The play came to an end. (Vol 14 Ch 78) [cw child abuse]
You sit at the dinner table, kicking your legs freely. There was a question burning inside you. You'd thought of it after that woman spoke to you about how happy your family was, the lady with the long hair that you didn't recognize but knew to be family.
"Why? Why do Papa and Mama always seem to be having so much fun? Are you really having fun? Isn't there anything that makes you sad?"
Papa and Mama continued to smile at you for a moment, but then the smiles slipped from their faces.
With just that one question...
Slowly, rage morphed Mama's face into something you don't recognize. She knocks the food off the table and bowls come crashing to the ground.
"WHO DO YOU THINK WE'RE DOING THIS FOR!?!" Mama grabs the end of the table and flips it over. "WHO DO YOU THINK WE TRY SO HARD FOR EVERY SINGLE DAY?! GIVE ME A BREAK!!"
You stare at the shattered bowls, lost and confused.
...the play came to an end.
Later that evening, you stand in the darkened hallway in front of their door. You're clutching a rag doll, a pretty one of a girl with a smiling face. It's your favourite doll.
"Mama...." your voice comes out plaintively. "Mama, papa.... I'm sorry...."
The door opens.
Even though they hated me...
The light streams out and you look up with hope in your heart.
Even though I was a burden... they pushed themselves.
Mama isn't looking at you, but Papa reaches out.
They were always pushing themselves. They pushed themselves.... they broke. And could never go back.
Papa's hand grips your hair tightly.
They said they didn't really want me.